คำบรรยาย (en)

I want us to have sex. You want to have sex? I want to have sex. Faulty equipment. It was in Zahid's shoe? No. Nowhere to make camp. Sam, honey, we're home. I'm bored. This is ridiculous. No one in history has ever had this much trouble having sex. And I'm leaving for my camp counselor job on Saturday morning. I mean, it is like the universe is conspiring against us. I haven't seen your dad since the Olive Garden. He looks shorter. Sam, that's it. The Olive Garden. We have bad romantic karma from when you broke my heart into a million pieces at my favorite pasta haven. We need to take back the Olive Garden. Go there for dinner? And appetizers. Friday night, my parents have their Zuma class on Fridays, so we can just come back here right after dinner. It'll be our last chance. That sounded really dire like in a horror movie, but it kind of is. Hi, Sam! Are you ready to take back the Olive Garden? I can feel it. The gods of love are pleased with us. Good news. Your mom said that she could babysit my succulents while I'm gone. Good. I know. It's so exciting, isn't it? Oh, our sex-aversary. June 28th. Probably around 9.45 p.m. I need an hour to digest. Wait, June 28th? I missed the first day of registration for classes. Wait, no, where are you going? There's gonna be no good ones left, and then I'm gonna get the hard ones, and then I'm gonna fail. No, no, no, Sam, sit back down. Okay, we can still salvage this. Please, just not here. Have a breadstick. They're warm. This is all your fault. You distracted me with your sex talk I can wait for you to leave We were gonna take back the Olive Garden I sorry What are you doing stomping around like a water buffalo? Thanks to Paige, I missed the first day of registering for classes. And that's Paige's fault? Yes, yes, because she distracted me with the promise of sex. So this is the problem with the fact I slap you so often, is that it no longer has meaning. Right now is when you really deserve it. I'll do it anyway. Hey! She wasn't trying to distract you, dumbass. She loves you, and she wanted you to be her first. And you acted like a total dude about it and got distracted on your own. No. Maybe. Yeah. I will make fun of Paige and her silly talkity-talk and her hair bows all day long. But that lady gets you, and you're lucky to have her. Did they let you keep your appendix in a jar? Is that an option? Oh, hello. Come to tell me how I've ruined your life again? I definitely don't think that. Well, all of Olive Garden thinks that you do. And the fact that I got free dessert does not make it better. Paige, I'm sorry. I got stuck thinking about the four out of five, and then I got stuck thinking about sex. And sometimes it's hard for me to think about more than one thing at a time. And I'm sorry that I distracted you. I know you've been worried about college. Sometimes I just forget that you have challenges that I don't even think of. It's okay. Did you get all the classes you wanted? All except one. I ended up having to take a sociology course called ethics. Sounds dumb. Well, I leave tomorrow and my parents are downstairs, so sex is definitely out until I come home for Thanksgiving.